Ijustneverthought about it, what I would do.
You know, what the dream would be if I couldn't have my dream.
Empty office.
I thought we were going to lunch. Why are we still sitting here?
We're doing what I do when I get depressed. Just wait.
- What time do you have? - It's five to one.
You know what? I'm glad I can't have a child.
I'd probably have a kid with two heads.
It's actually better. I'm grateful I don't have to think about it.
The option is... off the table.
- What time do you have? - Five to one.
You people are obsessed with time.
Here he comes.
Hi, Dell.
- Have a nice... surf. - I'll see you guys after lunch?
You two should be ashamed of yourselves.
Admit it. You feel better.
And if not, there's another showing in an hour.
And it's wet.
My brain is bleeding? How could my brain have been bleeding since the accident?
Could be trauma, could be from one of your surgeries.
I've been in this hospital long enough to know
when there's something one of you isn't saying.
Because of the location of the bleed, you need to be awake during surgery.
You'll be sedated, alert, but it could be a really dangerous process.
- A lot about the brain we don't know. - So...
...I could potentially get my memory back?
It's possible. Amnesia can be a symptom, but it's a long shot.
I'll do some mapping, see if anything happens.
But it could get my memory back?
You're back. What happened?
She's got a fever and I think I hear a small murmur.
- A heart murmur? - Don't be dramatic.
- At least it's not the hiccups. - Could be complications from endoscopy.
- Bacterial endocarditis? - You'll have to test
and if they're positive, you'll be admitted for antibiotics.
- Which should knock it right out. - See? I told you. Don't be dramatic.
Hey! You're supposed to wait for me.
I'm going crazy just sitting there.
Look. I'd be freaked out too if somebody was about to open up my head.
- But Dr. Shepherd, he's the best. - I can't hold my baby, right?
She's in that incubator and so the nurses told me to talk to her.
And I try. Guess what?
Right now, I got nothing to say.
You know, I don't even remember what it feels like to be outside.
To have the wind on my face or rain or...
I know the surgery's dangerous, but I'm not freaked. I can't wait.
No guarantee surgery's going to bring back memory.
But there's a chance. It's better than nothing.
Good news. Paul's lack of sex drive comes from a hormone imbalance.
So Paul still likes sex.
Well, he's a guy and he's not dead, so I'm guessing, yeah.
- He just can't do anything about it. - That's good news?
Bad news is that there could be many causes to this.
Some more serious than others.
Final diagnosis and treatment could be a lengthy process.
We're going to have to run more tests.
So it might be a while before Paul can help Kathy...
- Take the edge off? - Tell her to try swimming.
It's easier on the knees.
So... you're the quack.
I went to med school. I'm also a licensed herbalist
and I spent five years in China learning alternative medicine.
Like I said... quack.
Come here.
Unless you need to go tell someone you saw Goody Johnson with the devil.
- OK. - Lie down on the table.
- Why? - Want to show you I'm not a quack.
I'm not taking my clothes off.
Did I ask you to take your clothes off?
Now.
You're carrying a lot of tension in your shoulders and above your right eye.
- What do you mean? - Blocking some serious emotion.
- Hang on. - What? What are you doing?
Ow!
Ow! Ow!
Stop saying "ow. "' It doesn't hurt.
- OK. I'm done. - Wait, wait. Where are you going?
- You can't leave me like this. - Lie there. Don't move. Breathe.
You're going to experience a rush of emotion.
A release of psychic pain.
Hello?
I don't feel anything!
Except stupid for letting a cute hippie boy put needles in my face.
Hello!
Yeah, Pete!
I...
This isn't working. I don't have any psychic pain.
I'm great.
Barren but fan-freaking-tastic.
You can come back now!
I am not feeling any, you know, rush of emotion or anything.
I don't feel... anything.
I don't feel anything at all.
I hate LA.
- Hey. - Hey.
I heard Susan was back.
- Everything OK? - An infection. She'll be fine.
Good. I figure if anything was wrong, you'd tell me.
If it was serious. In a "letting you in" sort of way.
- You know, it's weird. - What?
My father. We're almost talking.
Really?
- How's the trailer? - It's freezing.
You want to eat later? I'll bring something over.
- Using me for central heating? - Among others.
- OK. - All right.
- Lisa...? - I think something is wrong.
- She's in pain. - Lisa?
Something is not right.
- My God. I think I've wet my pants. - Your water broke. She's in labor.
- It's fast. - I'll call an ambulance. Get Cooper.
Let the hospital know we're coming.
Call the chief. I don't want problems when I scrub in.
Breathe.
- I need to push! - Don't push!
Get her to labor and delivery. Jim, check her in.
Lisa!
- Is she OK? Are they OK? - What happened?
- Too early. - She's not due for a month.
I guess the stress of you fighting and crowding her,
declaring yourselves the father didn't help! Move!
Any word on Lisa and the baby?
We're still waiting.
- Therapy sucks. - Said the shrink.
No, I mean, my particular brand of therapy?
It might, actually, be full of crap.
People talking about their problems endlessly.
Telling people to think positively, visualize their destiny.
- It doesn't work? - I think positively.
I visualize my destiny.
And look. Just look.
- What am I looking at? - Me.
My pathetic, miserable existence.
He left six months ago. He was a loser!
Did you know he peed a little bit every time he coughed?
Like an incontinent old woman. He smelled like pee.
There I was in the car, crying. And I am a serious feminist.
Not to mention my no sex couple...
Turns out it was a hormone thing. It's physical.
In the old days, we would have talked and talked
as Paul got sicker and sicker.
My profession's becoming irrelevant.
Maybe it's a good thing.
People should just tell the truth to the people in their lives.
They can't. If they could, we'd all be healthy.
- Like me. - You're not. You're in denial.
- I am not in denial. - You're in denial and you're angry.
- Angriest man I know. - That why you won't sleep with me?
You're in denial, you're angry and you use sex as a weapon to deflect it.
Oh.
Now stimulating area 11.
Ava, can you name this object?
Flowers. Pink and blue.
Voiding area 11. Moving superiorly.
This will be area 12.
- Was that Spanish? - Was it?
OK, I'm moving on to 13.
Now you're just showing off.
Each language is stored in a different area. As I stimulate them...
- This'll be 14. - This isn't from the surgery?
She actually speaks Spanish and French?
- And German? - She's hypoventilating.
- Put her under, work on the bleed. - Can't we keep going?
Maybe get her memory with the languages.
We don't stop this, she'll lose more than memory. She'll die.
- Why is this happening so fast? - Doctors?
Cooper, she's crowning!
- All right. Just don't push, Lisa. - Oh, push? OK.
Don't push. The cord's wrapped around the baby's neck.
- Sorry! I can't help it! - Come up.
- I'll hold. You clamp and cut. - OK.
- Is she OK? - Hang 20 of oxytocin.
- Eight French suction catheter. - Ready.
- Why isn't she crying? - Cooper's going to be working on her.
We need to focus on you right now.
You're not bleeding much so we should be able
to remove the placenta by...
- By what? What? By what? - Put her under now.
What's going on?
Uterus ruptured because of the placenta accreta.
- We have to open her up. - No, no!
- The baby's not crying. - BP's 58 over 32.
- Don't until the baby cries. - We don't have time. We have to now.
- Go Addison. - OK.
Hang two units of B-positive and make sure we have plenty.
She's going to exsanguinate if we don't move quickly. Ten-blade.
Lisa lost a lot of blood. We had to put the baby on oxygen.
- But they are both stable. - Who's the father?
- What? - You sent off the paternity test.
- Which one is the father? - Lisa say anything?
Her decision about the baby?
Lisa lost a lot of blood.
We had to put the baby on oxygen, but they are both stable.
I say it again because it seems like you didn't hear me the first time.
They almost died. Lisa almost died.
And so I didn't have time, what with, um, trying to save her life,
to pause and check on the paternity test or ask her about the baby's future.
What is wrong with you people?
Can... Can we see the baby?
No. None of you go near Lisa or the baby until I say so.
The child is not a possession that you fight over.
And by the way, not that you asked?
It's a girl. Six pounds, nine ounces.
- I don't remember. - Hey.
We got it. The bleed. And you're going to be fine.
By the way, you rocked that surgery. You spoke three languages.
I don't remember anything.
The surgery was supposed...
I thought it would...
What am I going to do?
What if I never remember anything?
You sick O'Malley?
You feel fine. Take an aspirin and get off my clean bed.
You've been married a long time, right?
O'Malley, I do not have time to answer...
Did you have doubts? About your marriage?
I don't mean insecurities, I mean really serious doubts.
I need you to sign this before I can discharge bed ten.
No. He's supposed to get an IV dose before discharge.
Why don't people listen?
One day you'll have to explain how antibiotics actually work.
- They are miraculous. - Good afternoon.
Dr. Bailey asked me to look in. Everything looks good.
We are going to take you to radiology to get a central line to continue
- your IV antibiotics outpatient. - OK.
Hey, will you show your dad the cafeteria?
- Sure. We're on to you, you know. - What?
Dr. Bailey. I was looking for some privacy and,
I didn't think anyone would come looking for me down here. I apologize.
No problem. Take your time.
- Dr. Bailey? - Yeah?
You've been married a long time now, right?
Do you think it matters if one person is more ready?
O'Malley!
- Yeah? - Come here.
Yes? Hi, Dr. Burke.
I want the two of you to talk to each other.
Talk to each other and leave my marriage out of it.
I also want you to leave my clinic out of it.
And by that I mean, get out.
I need the space, I need the peace, I need the quiet and I need it now.
- Sorry. Gone. - Right. Sorry.
Cooper, you're blocking the caffeine.
He's blocking the caffeine.
If you move, I'll give you a cookie.
Did something go wrong with Lisa's surgery?
No. We handled it.
Addison, she is pretty excellent. She's pretty excellent.
OK. Only because you sighed twice, what's the matter, Cooper?
I don't go to hookers. I don't go to strip clubs.
I meet women on the Internet that want to meet me.
So I like them a little younger and a little dirtier. Is that wrong?
- It's wrong? - You need to meet a grown-up.
You need to date someone your own age.
Someone without a porn-y Internet name. And perhaps no criminal past.
- A nice girl. - A viable girl.
- With whom you can have a relationship. - You're a doctor.
Go out in the real world, meet a woman your own age and ask her out.
Be a man, Cooper. Be a man.
There you are.
Stopped by to see how Lisa and the baby are doing.
- You OK? - Yeah, I just, I...
I had a little too much surgery today, but I'm good.
You look good. You look... beautiful.
Sam told me to stay away from you because you're Naomi's friend.
- Stop it. - What?
- You're flirting. - What's wrong?
What's wrong with it? What's wrong?
What's wrong is that I don't have time for it.
I am out of time. I missed my chance.
And now I have two eggs left.
I might as well have no eggs left. I am eggless.
Naomi says that she's dried up, I'm the one who's dried up.
I'm all barren and dried up and I've clearly been wasting my time on men.
I mean, I might as well take up hobbies. Like needlepoint.
Or collecting those little ceramic dolls, you know?
Because that's what dried up women do. They do needlepoint.
They do not waste their time flirting with men
who clearly just want to get laid. They do not waste their time...
...telling overly personal information
about their eggs to total strangers.
Oh, my God. I'm sorry.
What are you doing?
I'm going to kiss you. I'm going to kiss you with tongue.
I'm going to kiss you so you feel it.
OK?
OK.
Why did you do that?
To remind you that you're not dried up.
If you need me to remind you again...
...let me know.
OK.
- When did the cramping start? - A while ago.
- What is it? - Probably nothing serious.
Could be a reaction to the antibiotic. May have to switch to another.
- But it may mean another night here. - It's OK. It's OK. It's OK.
Wait.
I know. I know that you think we're awful.
And I think that we're awful. I just...
I just wanted a baby so badly. I just wanted a baby.
And I don't care who the father is. I don't care if the baby is mine.
All that matters is the baby. Is she going to be OK?
Just tell me that she's going to be OK.
She's going to be OK.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
- I hear Callie's a bridesmaid. - Yeah.
Would you say that you were the one that needed more urging to get married?
Oh, I hadn't really been thinking about it.
I... It just seemed like a good idea at the time.
You and Cristina have been together for a while.
You got married pretty fast.
In theory, it's better to know someone. Way better than...
Still, no guarantees.
- I don't believe in divorce. - Neither do I.
Is it possible, do you think,
to love two people...
...at the same time?
I, uh...
I'm still hoping it's possible just to love one person.
Hey. So it's not going to be too weird, right?
- Me as a bridesmaid? - No. No, it's fine.
- I can tell Cristina... - It's fine. Really. No worries.
So did George tell you he's thinking about transferring to Mercy West?
Yeah. Sounds like a good idea.
- So we're fine? - Oh, we are. Fine.
That last dress was OK, wasn't it?
I mean, it was too tight and I couldn't breathe, but...
A wedding's just one day, right?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Yeah.
We got Paul's MRl back.
And I've consulted with Dr. Strayley at Sloan-Kettering.
We found a tumor on your adrenal gland, all right?
It sits on top of the kidney. It's what's been causing your low sex drive.
So it wasn't me? He's got a condition?
Uh, a tumor. That's not too...
You can treat that, right?
These tumors are usually aggressive and found late
because the symptoms are so subtle.
What does that mean?
Treatment is difficult and risky, but there is hope.
Oh, my God, honey. I can't believe I yelled at you.
- I'm so sorry. - It's all right, honey.
- It's OK. - No, I'm horrible. I'm so sorry.
I love you so much.
Hello?
Are you there, elevator God?
It's me, Addison.
- What? - Hi.
Hi.
OK, look, you may be a figment of my imagination,
or maybe I'm going completely insane.
I don't know.
Or maybe this is payback
for my crimes on some ginormous karmic level. I don't know.
I just...
I just want to tell you I'm sorry.
For yelling at you.
OK?
OK.
Well, bye.
I'm such a screw up. My life...
Up until now, I've been really great at one thing.
I am great at being Paul's wife.
And I thought he didn't want me anymore.
I thought... I was sure that he was in love with somebody else.
Of course you were.
I lied to Paul.
I was with a man. That night I didn't come home.
I didn't even find him that attractive.
I just told myself I wasn't going to settle for being alone.
Kathy, you were reacting to what was in front of you.
There was no way you could know what was really going on.
What do I do now?
You do what you're great at.
You love your husband.
You're going to have to tell me that a lot, OK?
OK.
Hey, everyone else is gone. I was heading out.
Unless... I was going to get some food. You want something?
Oh. No. I ate. Thanks for asking.
Another night?
- Dell, are you... - Asking you out on a date? Yes.
- You can't ask me out. - Yes, I can.
- You can't. - I asked.
You're a fetus. You could be my fetus.
Coo coo ka-choo, Mrs. Robinson.
You can't use The Graduate as a defense.
You can't use a movie made before you were born as a defense.
Go out with me.
I like you. And you like me.
- Dell. - Yeah?
Never going to happen.
I'm starting to think LA is like New York, but with a beach.
Why do you think we moved?
Pete, isn't it time for you to get some refills?
Thanks.
OK, Pete is my friend. Don't get me wrong, but...
Why are you warning me? Is he a serial killer?
Is he a felon? Is he secretly my ex-husband's best friend?
His wife died eight years ago.
- Now I feel shallow. - No. It's just...
He can't connect with women.
He's a good man, but if you want someone who's going to be there,
then Pete's not that guy.
- We were good. - Very good.
This is nice, huh?
- It is. - Yeah.
- No, no. Oh, no! - What?
- That's not nice. No. No... - You say...
- You said be a man. - Oh, Cooper. I commend you.
You were making an effort, but I'm... I'm your friend.
You can't be a man with your friend.
- Isn't that settling? - Kind of. Yeah.
- Yes. - OK.
- Settling. - Great.
- Thank you. Yes. - But we're good?
- We're very good. - OK.
Hey, ex-best friend! Hey, ex-husband!
- You are drunk. - Ten more minutes and I dance.
And I require company.
I don't think I've ever seen her drunk before.
Sam...
Did you cheat on her?
Over the years there have been temptations.
But no, I didn't.
- Was there a lot of fighting? - Hardly ever.
Honestly...
It was bad, what I did.
I have no good reason.
I woke up one day... and I couldn't do it anymore.
It wasn't even a choice.
I had a thought,
the next thing you know, I'm burning it all down.
I left her.
I don't know why.
- What kind of person does that? - Hell if I know.
And I did it too.
So I ran into Allan. At Whole Foods.
You want to hear something funny?
He said he didn't believe in marriage. That marriage wasn't for him.
But I guess that was wrong.
Because it only took him four months.
Four months after we broke up he got married.
To someone who can't be more than 25 years old.
Isn't that funny?
It heads off rejection.
- What? - That's why I like the Internet.
I can't stand...
It's horrible being rejected.
It is.
Preston, I thought you had a late surgery.
You know all that "I trust you" crap?
You've been pulling that on me since I was this high.
- Preston, language. - No.
"I trust you" is code for "learn from your mistakes. "'
- This is not a mistake! - I never said it was a mistake...
Cristina never knows what's good for her, that's who she is.
- Preston. - She hates change.
I lead, I have to, and then she's grateful.
That's how it was with dating, with moving in.
Then I'm pleased for you.
Look, I am going to make her happy, Mama!
The wedding is a huge step. She's been a great sport. You know why?
Because she will be happy some day!
If you are so sure, why are you yelling at me?
- What happened? - She's septic.
Sooner we get her to an OR, sooner we help. Let's move.
- What happened? - Extremely rare complication.
Toxic megacolon with a perforation. Get your dad out of this room.
- This fast? How... - Sometimes it progresses rapidly.
Rarely, but sometimes. We booked an OR.
You're going into surgery now? I didn't sign a consent form.
She needs surgery right now. Not tomorrow, not later today. Right now.
- Thatcher? - Honey, listen...
You need to just stay back, OK?
We're standing by. OR's ready.
You're going to be OK. This happens. You're going to be OK.
We're losing her pulse! She's coding!
- Let's go! - OK, let's go. Let's move! Move!
Coming through!
She's OK, huh?
I mean, after all she went through she still looks pretty awesome.
Lisa, we need to know what you want to do with the baby.
- Carol, she wants this so bad. - This is about what you want.
- We did find out the paternity. - I don't want to know.
She's awesome, though.
You don't have to decide right now.
No. I know what I want to do.
- Oh, hi. - Lisa gave the baby to Carol?
On the condition they'd all be part of her life.
Turns out the baby'll have three dads anyway.
- And two moms. - Lisa did a good thing.
They look happy.
They look like a family.
- Izzie, look... - Look, I don't want you to go.
To Mercy West. I don't want you...
It's not fair.
I know we can't help what happened, and I know that we didn't...
I stood in that bridal shop with your wife and I smiled
and I talked and I felt like...
It's not fair.
I don't want you to go to Mercy West
because I'm losing my best friend and it's not fair.
It's just not fair.
We can't.
I know.
Hey! I was looking for you. You ready to go?
A lot of folks would kill for what you have, you know?
A clean slate.
So you don't remember. So what?
You'll make new memories.
Oh, wow. Look at that.
So beautiful.
How can you be so...
You're so good with me.
What's wrong with you that you can't be this good
with someone you have feelings for?
What happened to you, Alex?
Maybe I don't remember.
So what?
We did everything we could.
You said it was really simple
and that it was a small thing.
It was.
She had the hiccups!
She came here because she trusted you.
I trusted you.
- Meredith, just stop. - No, don't. Don't!
At some point,
maybe we accept the dream has become a nightmare.
She had the hiccups. Oh, God.
The hiccups.
They've left. It's just us.
Oh, thank God.
- I got a dress. - Yeah?
Mm-hm.
You happy?
Yeah. Are you? Happy?
Yeah.
We tell ourselves the reality is better.
Limes!
- Limes! - Limes!
So, what are we drinking to this time?
Friends. Crappy friends.
Family. Crappy family.
Again?
- Again. - Again.
Who wants another?
We convince ourselves it's better that we never dream at all.
But the strongest of us,
the most determined of us, we hold onto the dream.
- You're ugly and old. - I'll miss you too.
OK.
- There is an empty office. - Ha! Don't tempt me.
Think about it.
Or we find ourselves faced with a fresh dream we never considered.
Hold the door!
We awake to find ourselves...
...against all odds...
...feeling hopeful.
This is going to sound...
When no one else is around,
the elevator kind of talks to me.
- Hi, Tillie. - Hey, Pete.
That's Tillie. She works security.
The camera is right there.
- Hello, Tillie. - Hey, I get my kicks wherever I can.
- You going home? - Yeah. Home.
You get what you came for?
I honestly don't know.
Do you want me to kiss you again?
I think... not.
Because of the elevators where you come from?
Those horny, aphrodisiac elevators?
Yeah, that and I'm not interested.
You're interested.
And if we're lucky, we realize,
in the face of everything,
in the face of life...
...the true dream...
...is being able to dream at all.